January 8, 2013 § Leave a comment
What is this light? Why is it cold? What is this sound I’m making? What is this that’s so delicious? When will they get here? Why isn’t she here now? Why is this alien smaller being here in my place? What’s this thing in my mouth? Why don’t they understand what I’m telling them? What’s this thing in my hand? What are these marks I’m making? Why can’t I go home to my house? Who’s got the toy that’s really mine? What are they trying to make me do? Why do I have to eat that? Why do I have to sit here all day long? What’s going on that’s better? What’s under her desk? What’s going on behind her eyeballs, really? Why did I hit him? Why don’t I have what she does? Where’s my car? Why can’t I do that until I’m grown up? Where am I going to college? What am I going to do with my life? Why can’t I go out with her? Why is he talking to me like that? What’s going to happen now? Why didn’t I save that gift money? Where am I going to find a job? Who’d love someone like me? Why don’t we make love all the time? Where should we go now? What should we do tonight? Why’d I drink so much? Why do I have to sit here all day? Why don’t I make more money? Why did I drink so much? Why can’t I just stay in shape without doing all that? Why’d I have to invite them? Where will we live? How will I pay for this child? Who is she, really? Why’s he treating me like that? Why can’t I ever do what I want? Why does she always do exactly as she likes? What’s the meaning of life? What’s enjoyable just for me? What do I love any more? Who am I now? Where do I float in the stream of not-me? Why am I living through my kids? Why am I insisting on being the same, when the same is stretched and over and done? Why am I so slow? What’s this giant rubber band which seems to pull me back harder with every step I try to take? What’s a happy birthday? What would I rather be, really? What should I have done? Why doesn’t he take care of me? Where is she? Why is it cold? What is this sound I’m making? What is this light?
Copyright 2013 by Jacqueline Austin. All rights reserved.